Tick Tock

Tick tock tick tock
The clock’s mocking me
How old are you now? He asked
Twenty five – I said
You look like forty five. He smirked
I tossed my pillow
He fell – I could still hear he’s laughing

Tick tock tick tock
The clock’s murmuring
Your bed is always empty and cold
You sleep on the same pillow
Although you have four
Your biological clock’s racing
Oh, don’t waste your time anymore

 

Tick tock tick tock
I snatch my sleeping pills
Thinking of swallowing one or nine
Thinking of sleeping for awhile or just die
And think of mom and dad
How unfair to squander their efforts through these years
But… how unfair to hurl me in this scary world without my consent!

Tick tock tick tock
It’s only twenty seven minutes to dawn…
And the sun will soon come
And the dew
And hopes
And your smile
For that… I guess I can live another day

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A note of a lonely man

.
I am old and I am nobody

I am not somebody’s lover
I am not somebody’s spouse
I am not somebody’s parent

Oh I miss the feeling of being wanted
That someone wants me in most of the precious time
That someone is around when I need to

Oh I miss the feeling of being loved
That someone adores me
And always puts me as priority

Oh I miss the feeling of being needed
That some little ones cling on me
That I can make them feel secure and comfy

Yes I am getting older now, and getting lonelier
I am happy at times, but am desperate too when things are tough
I am stronger and more independent than ever
But am getting sick of taking care of everything
By my own little hands, my own tired brain, my own empty soul

Now that I am older
The skin is wrinkling, the spirit is vanishing
Chances are thinning, options are shrinking
Hopes are diminishing

Now that I am older, I can see things more clearly
I can see love, I can see lust
I can see honesty, I can see lies
I can see sincerity, I can see hypocrisy
I can see sympathy, I can see pity

Now that I am older, honey, I truly wish you were here…