Time to Heal

Healing takes time, but it will come. And when it does, you will find happiness so bright, you will be blind to all that once tormented you.

We can’t deliberately choose the memories we want to remember. I wish I could, but that’s just not the case, isn’t it?

I have this one scene of my childhood that vaguely stuck in my mind. I’m not quite sure about the year, maybe I was five. I only know I was really small that even stepping over a 50cm-wide-ditch was a huge problem.

It was a daring game. My neighbours had this silly challenge of jumping over a ditch in front of my house. I was doubtful and scared. I was unsure if I could make it. But it seemed so easy for everyone, I must do it. So they started to applaud, pushing me to do it. Jump! Jump! Jump!

So I did. I jumped. And… I missed the other side of the ditch. It happened so fast. I can’t remember how I got up from the bottom. I can’t remember how I walked towards my house. But I do remember I was so embarrased and scared of what would happen next. I remember my face was covered with blood dripping and I tried to wipe it off with my hands. I remember my mom stood by the door in awe and in a second she passed out. I remember my dad ran to my mom and carried her to the sofa in the living room, while I was standing still by the door not quite sure what to do. A couple of minutes later my dad came and carried me inside. And the scenes stopped there. I don’t remember the rest.

It happened almost three decades ago. No pain that I can remember. No scars as a souvenir either. It quickly became one of those light anecdotes I tell people when we play “your most embarrassing thing” game.

I was healed.

Our soul, unfortunately, heals in different pace, different way. We can’t really see the wound, thus makes it trickier to take care of. We can feel it there, in our brain, sending pain signal to our chest, pushing the tear glands to squeeze and shed some drops. Thankfully, crying is good and necessary.

Psychic tears are the crying tears produced as response to sadness, anger, frustration, or pain. These tears contain a natural painkiller. Yes, this act of crying releases what is called leucine-enkephalin, an endorphin that reduces pain and helps improve mood and reduce stress immediately. This is an important detox.

Therefore, it’s soothing to have a good cry. Although it’s addictive too. Our body is so amazing, isn’t it? It’s equipped with such a mechanism to help it coping with emotional breakdown. It might seem trivial, these psychic tears, but they significantly give remedy. Helping us to heal. Emotionally.

So hang in there. Take your time. Take a good cry. The time will come. You’ll be healed.


Legitimate Reasons to Cry

The topic today is about legitimate reasons to cry.

We need to cry sometimes. A healthy cry is good for health. It will release some of your burden and add some accessories on your face (what I mean is eye bags :D). However, crying is sometimes incomprehensible for some people around (esp. the male creatures) as they were persuaded with the dogmatic “boys don’t cry“. Silly idealism, I may say. The system is built-in your body! The tears, the feeling, the emotion, and all.

“Just cry your heart out!”

When we were kid, we have abundant reasons to cry. We were honest and pure and impulsive. We can cry when our parents hit us. We may cry when we fell off the bike. We are allowed to cry over a losing game. Crying was so normal and habitual. But… as I grow older and wiser (there is no linear correlation between age and wisdom, though), I understand that crying needs some reasons — some more legitimate ones so that people will see it natural or proper.

Hence, according to my unofficial poll awhile ago, here I will give you several legitimate reasons to cry. You can use it anytime and anywhere you need without being judged as a crybaby. You don’t have to bother telling people that you’re sad… or that your heart is broken… or that your pride is crushed… or that you are so damn lonely… or that the person you really care about acts like a jerk… or that the guy you have a crush on avoiding you… or that the girl you adore going out with some stupid guy riding a fancy car… or that your boss thinks you’re an idiot… or…. uh oh… I gotta stop. I got carried away 😀

Well, ladies and gentlemen… I proudly present you some legitimate reasons to cry… cry…… cry……… [echo]

1. Chop some onions

2. Standing close by the heavy traffic (smoke will get in your eyes alias kelilipan)

3. Eat something spicy hot (better if you use your bare hand and then rub it onto your eyes)

4. Watch Korean drama

5. Yawn

So, let’s chop some onions while watching Korean drama? 😀

* feel free to add the list *

I Can be Anything

If I want to, I can be anything.

You want me to be tough. I can be tough. I won’t cry over any disappointment. You know, when I cried in front of you, it was because I thought you were an important part of my life. You’re allowed to see me cry, you should be honoured.

You want me to be ugly. I can be ugly. I have been ugly for years. It’s not hard a thing to do. I can dress down. I can wear baggy pants and loose shirts. I can wear no powder on my nose.

You want me to be stupid. I definitely can be stupid. Lol! That’s the easiest thing in the whole world! And I’ll follow your stupid game. And play dumb. Being smart is sometimes boring.

You want me to be reliable. I can be dependable. I can be like a robot who needs no rest and feel nothing.

You want me to be fragile. I can be fragile. I can act vulnerable whining about the unjust world.

You want me to be nice. I can be friendly. I am naturally attentive.

You want me to be distant. I can be far-off.

You want me to be bitch. I can be evil.

You want me to be insensitive. I can be oblivious.

I can be anything you want, if I want to.

The question is: do I want to be those things?