Why am I still single?

Oooops... :D_

“Why are you still single?”

I heard that question quite often, and I heard that again recently – coming from a stranger I met for the first time. That is normally not an easy question to answer. So I replied with another question (just to linger – while looking for a cool response):

“Why? Why do you ask why?”

Fortunately, I got a sweet reply: “Because you’re gorgeous. I assume there are many guys attracted to you.” (* flirty alert! * But I took that as a compliment :-)).

Well, I wish I had a sophisticated answer on “why are you still single” question. I never do. In fact, I don’t know exactly why I am still single until now. I mean… I don’t do it in purpose. I mean… if I had another option, I probably would take that.

My usual melancholic (and not-at-all sophisticated) answer is: because I haven’t found someone to change my single status to married. Some other times… I – with a wide smile – would say: that someone hasn’t found me yet.


I’m pretty sure that people naturally tend to coupled – to have someone who acts as a long-lasting partner in life. Two is better than one. However, life indeed does not always follow the universal rule. Therefore, some people (in much less percentage, I believe) prefer to stay single – not to even have a steady relationship.

“Are you too busy?”

That is a common question following the first one. The answer is definitely no. I am not busy. I have plenty time to sleep, to shop, to dine out, to clean the house, to do laundry, to play sudoku, and even to write a random post for my blog (as I do today). So… no. I work forty hours a week (sometimes a bit more), but I do have so much time set aside for my personal business.

But well, being too busy is a good excuse of being single :-). I am grateful to live in this busy city and seem to have a busy life. Things would be much harder to bear if I were unemployed in a small town. Lucky me!

“You are too picky.”

That is a common accusation of my being single. Perhaps it’s not totally wrong, even though it doesn’t sound so right. I admit that sometimes I am so shallow-minded, too lazy in building relationship for some ridiculous reasons i.e. he’s not cute, he doesn’t have a cool job, he doesn’t laugh at my joke, he’s too short, he is too skinny, he’s bald, or that he’s too hairy :-). Okay okay, I am picky, but NOT too picky :-). Because I can actually handle a wide range of men with different background and interest. I don’t mind to hangout in a fancy restaurant or a middle-class warung, an expensive night-club or a cheap bar, a classy bookstore or a dark one which sells old-second-hand books, a lovely Seibu or a crowded ITC, an outdoor activity or simply playing cards or crosswords at home…

A single friend jokes around on this topic by saying that she is not picky… because she doesn’t even have options to pick :D.

Ya ya… the older we get, we should be smarter to provide funny-ironic ways in addressing status-related questions.

Back to the first question…

So, why am I still single? When I really think about it… maybe because I am better off this way (I doubt that!). Maybe I’m still on my way to become a better person (really? am I not good enough?). Maybe I am not ready to be in a serious commitment (oh I think I am! :-)). Maybe my life would be perfect if I finally take off my single blanket… and we all know that nothing is perfect in this challenging world. Or! Maybe I simply haven’t found the one who could make me say “I do.”

Ah, why don’t people just stop asking such question?



6 thoughts on “Why am I still single?

  1. wulanadian says:

    (I think) you are still single because you don’t give your relationship a chance to grow over the aforementioned ridiculous reasons. 🙂 And on top of that, you’re like a magnet for bad romance. 😀 😀

    • very well-observed and concluded. bravo! i’m now working hard on seeing the beauty of both the fat and the skinny, the bald and the hairy 😀

  2. Aisha says:

    Hahaha… You’re such a witty girl! Love your writing. I am single after 12 years in a relationship. Now am back to market – so we’re competing – LOL

  3. 12 years? that’s a hell of a time! 🙂 well, looking at the way you write, I think the most suitable word for you is: congratulations! and yes, let’s enliven the market!! 😀

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