“Why are you still single?”
I heard that question quite often, and I heard that again recently – coming from a stranger I met for the first time. That is normally not an easy question to answer. So I replied with another question (just to linger – while looking for a cool response):
“Why? Why do you ask why?”
Fortunately, I got a sweet reply: “Because you’re gorgeous. I assume there are many guys attracted to you.” (* flirty alert! * But I took that as a compliment :-)).
Well, I wish I had a sophisticated answer on “why are you still single” question. I never do. In fact, I don’t know exactly why I am still single until now. I mean… I don’t do it in purpose. I mean… if I had another option, I probably would take that.
My usual melancholic (and not-at-all sophisticated) answer is: because I haven’t found someone to change my single status to married. Some other times… I – with a wide smile – would say: that someone hasn’t found me yet.
I’m pretty sure that people naturally tend to coupled – to have someone who acts as a long-lasting partner in life. Two is better than one. However, life indeed does not always follow the universal rule. Therefore, some people (in much less percentage, I believe) prefer to stay single – not to even have a steady relationship.
“Are you too busy?”
That is a common question following the first one. The answer is definitely no. I am not busy. I have plenty time to sleep, to shop, to dine out, to clean the house, to do laundry, to play sudoku, and even to write a random post for my blog (as I do today). So… no. I work forty hours a week (sometimes a bit more), but I do have so much time set aside for my personal business.
But well, being too busy is a good excuse of being single :-). I am grateful to live in this busy city and seem to have a busy life. Things would be much harder to bear if I were unemployed in a small town. Lucky me!
“You are too picky.”
That is a common accusation of my being single. Perhaps it’s not totally wrong, even though it doesn’t sound so right. I admit that sometimes I am so shallow-minded, too lazy in building relationship for some ridiculous reasons i.e. he’s not cute, he doesn’t have a cool job, he doesn’t laugh at my joke, he’s too short, he is too skinny, he’s bald, or that he’s too hairy :-). Okay okay, I am picky, but NOT too picky :-). Because I can actually handle a wide range of men with different background and interest. I don’t mind to hangout in a fancy restaurant or a middle-class warung, an expensive night-club or a cheap bar, a classy bookstore or a dark one which sells old-second-hand books, a lovely Seibu or a crowded ITC, an outdoor activity or simply playing cards or crosswords at home…
A single friend jokes around on this topic by saying that she is not picky… because she doesn’t even have options to pick :D.
Ya ya… the older we get, we should be smarter to provide funny-ironic ways in addressing status-related questions.
Back to the first question…
So, why am I still single? When I really think about it… maybe because I am better off this way (I doubt that!). Maybe I’m still on my way to become a better person (really? am I not good enough?). Maybe I am not ready to be in a serious commitment (oh I think I am! :-)). Maybe my life would be perfect if I finally take off my single blanket… and we all know that nothing is perfect in this challenging world. Or! Maybe I simply haven’t found the one who could make me say “I do.”
Ah, why don’t people just stop asking such question?