English, Fun Stuff, Life, Philosophy

Women, Men, Sex, and Love

Women give sex to get love, men give love to get sex.

I read that statement on a blog’s discussion forum a few weeks ago. I forget who exactly threw the topic. Was it a woman or a man (most likely it was a man). The topic was pretty hot and being talked about. Some confirmed and some other firmly rejected the statement.

I initially felt offended by that statement because basically, as a woman, I am just going to have sex with someone who already gets my love. So, love is already there before the sex happens, not that I hunt love by offering sex.

But, recently that sentence came back in my mind… and it keeps haunting me until I think I need to write something before it begin to protest.

The statement is interesting, actually. Try to read it slowly. Women give sex to get love. This means that for the sake of being loved by a man, women will give one thing that (of course) irresistible to men: sex. Now try to read the second phrase: men give love to get sex. We can translate this phrase as: men (who in fact are full of thousands of fantasies about sex) would be “willing” to give love to get their favorite gift: sex.

What do you think? It looks interesting now? Not yet? Come on… try to read again. But this time please get rid of prejudice or idealism about love and sex for a moment.

Done? Well… now you must see it more clearly.

Yes! The interesting thing is: there is a kind of reciprocal activity between the two phrases. There is some kind of action-reaction law which is reversible, or a symbiosis mutualism. Women want love, men want sex. Women have something men want, and men have something women desire. When the two meet, a relationship of mutual need and mutual benefit will be born between the two.

I’ve told you this is exciting, although a little scary. But who knows… probably that is how a relationship between a man and a woman created. Both parties mutually meet each other’s needs. I am afraid lest a man does not really give a sincere love, but only some cheap love for the sake of sex. I am afraid lest a woman does not really present a heartfelt sex, just for the sake of being loved.

Lest… lest…  nooo…

Originally (written in Bahasa Indonesia, November 2007) taken from my old blog: Perempuan, Lelaki, Seks, dan Cinta 



At the moment, I still can see the logic of the statement above. However, as thousands of other stereotypes out there, the statement has its inconsistency. Many men don’t do casual sex simply because they perceive sex as an emotional act. Plenty of women now are enjoying casual sex without hoping to be loved. Not to mention prostitution… :-).

Sex is overrated. Love is overrated?



3 thoughts on “Women, Men, Sex, and Love

  1. Jadi, laki2 lebih butuh sex dan perempuan lebih butuh cinta, — dengan latarbelakang “ilmiah” alias tidak perlu dibantah lagi.
    Maka untuk mendapatkannya, laki2 akan memberikan cinta dan perempuan memberikan sex, istilah jawa nya .. “pek-pek-en” –yg artinya, ga akan merasa rugi demi memperoleh yang dibutuhkan 😀

    Suatu simbiosis yg mutualisme!

    Karena itu pernyataan itu (sebenarnya) sah-sah aja.
    Hanya orang suka menggunakannya untuk provokasi genderitas yang seringnya berhasil 😀

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