I suddenly understand
why some people decide to slay themselves
or consider doing it at some point
What I mean by understand is
to really understand and do not blame
Life gets harder
Those people — who decided to end their life —
are those who don’t see any more hope ahead
They don’t know what else to do
They don’t know what to achieve
They feel life is unfair
They face a dead-end
I was thinking about my death too
Would it be easy?
Would it be easier than to be alive?
I am in smothering circumstances (of course)
If things go smoothly and pretty
I would definitely wish to live forever
More than one soul dies in a suicide
I don’t plan to cut off my vein
nor to jump off a bridge
nor to swig a handful of sleeping pills
Not at all!
I was just thinking about death
about my insignificant being
about my forgotten glory in the past
Why kill yourself? Life will do it for you.
PS. For those who know me in person, it was just another rough night. Jack Nicholson once said that if he was alone two three nights in a row, he’d start writing poems about suicide. I did. I am still too afraid to die anyway 🙂